#308: It has been 5 months and 22 days..

And holy dangflabbit shit.. I'm sorry guys.

I just checked my list of posts - and the last post was from 3/3-2015.. Which is a hella long time ago. I actually made some nearly finished drafts, but I didn't get to the stage of actually posting them, for some reason. I made drafts about how I was kind of scared about my future when I was reading for finals, I started a posts about how relationships with your siblings can be complicated and annoying - and actually a lot of other posts.. I just never finished them, and thus never got to posting them.

But during these awfully many months, exciting things have happened in my life. I've graduated - eyyyy! Yes - I graduated and got my hat! The damn hat I feel like I've fought for (blood, sweat and tears have been shed) for three looong years. And I was S O super scared and excited about it at the same time - because I had no idea what my life was going to revolve around when I didn't have school. It feels kind of pathetic, I know, but that was how I felt. 

The thing is that I have no flippin' idea what I what to study at university - which is something I have to figure out. So I'm taking a gap year - or maybe two.. As my mother says when people ask about my plans: "Well, she's taking at least one gap year, maybe two. We're not pressuring her into choosing something as fast as possible." This is amazing for me, my parents are really supportive when it comes to this, which was a huge relief, especially since I was close to dropping out of school in year 2 because I had a minor breakdown over school, homework and stress.

For some reason, some divine power granted me my wishes when it came to final exams - no oral math and no oral biotechnology! These subjects are my main subjects, and it's not because I don't like them (cough cough ~fuck you math~ cough), but I just really dislike the exam "method" (does that make sense) with these two subject. I ended up getting Ancient Studies (C-level - part of a song from the Odyssey) and History (A-level - focus on Rome) and praise whatever divine force made this happen, I was so happy I could cry! Being emotional probably had something to do with the lack of sleep, as it is tradition that all of the seniors have a huge party (at a club or somewhere similar) the night before we are told what subjects we have for our final exams.

All of my exams went well, and I actually scored the dangflabbit H I G H E S T  S C O R E for my final exam, and holy shit I was so damn happy! I think my teacher was quite happy as well, she looked like it, that's for sure! It's tradition here that you have your parents and maybe some family waiting outside the room where you're being examined, and I had my parents, my moms sister and her husband, all of my siblings and my brothers' girlfriends were there as well. So - no pressure!

How it happens: you go into the room of the exam and get examined by your teacher and a examiner, and after your time is up, you go outside while they decide on your grade. When they're done you get called into the room again, and when you have gotten your grade/score, you come out again - and it's all over. For the last exam someone gets to put your hat on your head, and for me that was my mom. And we cried. We all cried. Holy damn, all of the people cried, I'm not kidding. My father, my uncle, my sister in laws and even my oldest brother shed a little tear - now that's impressive! My mother (and I) cried the most, I'm pretty sure a lot of the tears were kind of relief, as in "the last three years are finally goddamn over - and it is amazing!" and the fact that I ended it the best way possible was just.. It felt amazing, absolutely amazing! (especially because a certain cunt someone didn't get the highest grade, and she fucking cried about it.. Classic. #sorrycertainlynotsorry)

Well, I actually put my ass down and get to write a post - I am actually a bit proud of myself! So to end this quite long post I will post a picture of me with my hat - my precious, precious hat!

Look how happy I am - horray for me!

#307: Austria

Hey you all!

So since I haven't been posting for about a million years (a million years here is about 3 weeks in human time), I thought I could post some pictures from my skiing trip to Austria! The week was brilliant, I must admit that my dear boyfriend got a lot better at skiing in during those 6 days than I had ever dared to hope. He went down a slope categorised as "black" the last day, and "black" is a lot in Austria. The black slopes are those with a steepness of 70 degrees. I not quite sure how they measure it, but when you're at the top of it - it's clear to see that they're different from the others! Anyway, here we go -  I hope you like the pictures, I enjoyed the trip, and thereby taking the pictures!

#306: I am going skiing - yay!

Hello dudes and dudettes!

Just like last year I am going skiing! This year I'm not going with the youth-club-thing-a-ling, but I'm going with my parents like I used to. This time is different though.. This time I am dragging my boyfriend along with me!

Ahh, yes. My poor, lovely boyfriend is being voluntarily dragged with me and my parents to Austria to try skiing for the first time. Needles to say, I am so flipping excited I can barely handle it! We're driving to Austria ourselves in our volvo, and another difference from 3 year ago - this time we're 4 people to take turns to drive, so it's not just my mother and father who's responsible for the driving. I am also quiiiite excited for that part of it, as I haven't been driving on the German autobahn (motorway) during the night, and with the parts of the autobahn with no speed limit (yup, that's a thing in Germany.. No speed limits on some of das autobahn, you can look it up if you don't believe me), it can very hard to "read" the upcoming cars from behind, when the only thing you can see is the car's headlights.

As mentioned, my boyfriend has never tried skiing before, and I am so excited to show him everything wonderful about skiing and amazing winter wonderland that is Austria in the winter. Skiing is literally one of the only sports I'm good at! And I'm serious here - I can't think of any sport aside from skiing that I'm actually good at, I'm just one of those people who are just extremely uncoordinated with a ball, a bat of any kind or hurdles or anything. I'm just very uncoordinated, but skiing is my secret power. So as my boyfriend hasn't tried it before, or have seen me on skies, I am SO looking forward to showing him a sport that I'm actually good at.

"Secretly" I'm also looking forward to see him flip and flop a bit around on these giant skies with limited amount of movement. I can't wait. Of course I'm not going to be a mean and evil stunt-on-skies-for-the-first-time-filming-girlfriend all the time.. Just for some time the first day ;-) I have kind of promised some of our friends that I would film him a bit, and honestly  who am I to deny the wishes of the masses ;-)

We are going to live in a apartment the four of us, my parents in one bedroom, and my boyfriend and I in another. There's a kitchen, a living room with TV, two toilets and a bath and wifi in the apartment - it is going to be a blast! Of course we are going to be spending as much time as possible out on the slope, but having a nice apartment to come home to is certainly not a bad thing. The area we will be skiing in is called Zauchensee, and there's currently over a metre of snow in the city itself located at 1350 meters hight. I've been there two times before, so I know the area quite well by now.

I am so stoked to go - and we're driving tonight! Before I can go I need to do a few things first. Among those things; finding clothes/equipment, packing aaaaaaand handing in a 7 hour English assignment. Preferably done in 3 hours. Damn. I'm not quite sure how amazing that assignment is going to be, I am dreading it a bit - I hate writing essays last minute, but I've had two assignments (chemistry and maths, 4-5 hours each) this last week, which has drained a lot of my energy, so I don't have a lot of it for writing this damn English essay. One could argue that I choose English on A level myself, and yes I did, but 15-17 hours of assignments in one week would be tough on anyone. But I just have to get it done, so I can relax and focus on the oncoming vacation - phew..

So I just need to breath, relax and get my assignment done so I can go on this awesome vacation! I hope the wifi in the apartment is good enough for me to maybe upload some pictures, and I hope the weather is going to be great! Ah, I am just so excited! (And I'm secretly hoping not to break a leg or any other body part!)

#305: Letting out some air

I just need to let some air out..

Being imperfect can be very liberating, and not giving a fuck can feel unrealistically awesome. But being who you are, might also cause some people to not like you. I have often experienced this; having people not like me, even though I've never actually done actively done anything to make them dislike me. Sometimes these people just stays out of your way, and keeps their dislike to themselves and/or their friends. I'm okay with that. You may dislike me, but as long as you don't bother me or any of my friends, I often don't give a flying fuck - which is how it should always be. Because fuck those who do not like you for you!

Today I encountered one of the rare things, an indirect message of dislike. I have had to calm a bit down, because what happened really upset me, but I'll write how I first perceived it. I am in my final year in this school, which I believe is approximately equivalent to high school, and we are writing year-books. I have had some really bad experiences with people writing my yearbook. In middle school most people in my class didn't really care for me and mostly just let the bullies do their thing. My two best friends were writing my page in the book with the class as well, and "reported" back some of the thing the others had wanted to write in my yearbook. Anyway, the girls saved me for most of it - but that "memory" have been returning to me for some time now.

The yearbook is written electronically, and then printed, and everybody in the class can access and edit your page. Of course you're not supposed to look at your own page, but being totally paranoid, I got my mum to read it, just to see if there was anything "horrible". Even though I was worried, I trust the three people "in charge" of my page, to not have written anything terrible, but when my mum read the "Good to know.." section, I could tell on her face that something was weird. Indeed;

"If you want to be friends with her, just talk about her boobs!"

Ouch.. My first impression was that this comment was made in some sort of "evil" intention to hurt me, or to tell me that "I don't like you!". I texted one of the people who was in charge, and was reassured that that comment had indeed been added to my page after they were done editing it. At first, as mentioned, I took this as an indirect message of dislike, and I felt really low. I know you're not supposed to let these things get to you, but it did. The thing is, someone in my class have written that comment. A person from the class of people whom I all consider my friends, on some level. I felt disgusted, sad and frustrated. I was so upset, partly because it felt like there was this one person, or several perhaps, who saw me as nothing but boobs. It was horrible. My boobs are quite big, and therefor naturally quite a big part of who I am, and I like my boobs - but to think that someone who you consider a friend sees you as nothing but a big pair of boobs? Horrible. I am just a pair of big boobs! I am a person! With a personality! Sigh.

That comment really got to me, and it sucked. I just stared at it, got angry and stared more at it. I was trying to figure out who wrote it, but no one in particular came to my mind. My mother tried to soothe me. My father tried too - not necessarily very good, but he tried. My mum said that it was probably "some flat-chested brat who's jealous of you" or "a guy who hasn't been allowed to touch, or is jealous of your boyfriend." It didn't really sink in, or help at first - but as mentioned I've "calmed down" by now. 

My dear boyfriend is sure that it was meant as a joke, or at least not written with "evil" intentions, and I hope he's right. It feels like everyone but me is taking it very lightly, and it's hard to feel like this, especially when I don't want it to get to me, and I just want to forget it. If this really is meant as a joke I cant help but feel that is is a really crappy joke.. Sure, it could "work" if it was in a conversation of something, where you could read facial expressions, and hear the tone of voice to help you decode the "sender's" intentions. But when it's written down that is very hard to do. I kind of hope that it's "just" a joke that I've taken very seriously - I can't really handle the prospect of having some people in my own class secretly loathe me and go behind my back in such a way. Ugh..

That is all the air I need to let out, I think. For me it helps to put my feelings into writing, and to "organize" my brain on the topic.. By the way I made some hashtags on a Instagram post I made. Translated, my two favorites are;

#TheyreFineAndTheyreMine

#HoldingMyChinAndBoobiesUpHigh

See ya!

#304: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hello again and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hello again everyone, I hope the ones who celebrated new year had an amazing evening, whether you were staying in, or going out. I went to a party at one of friends' house with most of the people from my class and most from his class. I ate dinner with my parents and one of my dad's friends who was our guest for the evening. We had a three course meal, and the food was absolutely amazing! My parents and our guest had vine and champagne along with the food, whereas I only drank water, because I was driving my boyfriend and I for the party after dinner.

In Denmark we have a royal family, and we have our Queen. I'm not talking Tyler Oakly style queen here, no no, we have our queen Margrethe the 2nd. She is 74 years old and has been regent since 1972. Every year at 6PM on New Year's Eve she gives a speech from her home, broadcasted on the "national channel". She usually sends her greetings to the soldiers deployed, the people working on oil rigs in the sea and so on. Some of her messages change from year to year, kind of along with the "changing" of the political topics. The royal family is not to get involved in politics, but her annual speech is her way of commenting on it, without commenting - it's quite sneaky.

It is always nice to listen to the queen's speech. Families and friends usually gather around the tv, sit down with some champagne and what we call "kransekage", which is something special to Scandinavia - I haven't heard of it being eaten anywhere else. I'll post a picture of if, and maybe someone can tell me if it's anywhere else, and what it's called there? ;-)

After dinner I got dressed and went to pick up my boyfriend at his house. He was already slightly drunk, bur he kind of brushed it off. When I asked what he had had, it ran up to about two glasses of champagne, two glasses of wine, a White Russian or two and a shot - approximately. I couldn't help but laugh a bit about it, especially when the penny dropped, and he realised the reason(s) for him being drunk. I drove us to the party and we finally got there, even a bit late.

At 12 o'clock we went outside to see the fireworks and to drink our champagne. This new year was the first of hopefully many to come, that I spent with my lovely boyfriend. Standing almost alone and embracing him and being embraced on the sidewalk, watching the fireworks and drinking champagne together was almost magical. It's so damn cliché, but that little moment was amazing and I love that boy for the timing of the moment, and seven words that again, super cliché, made me smile a whole frikkin lot.

"Happy New Year's, my love. I love you!"

Seven simple words, and it made me glow for the rest of the evening. Cliché - I know.

Anyway.. The rest of the night was awesome, and I had so much fun with my lovely, crazy and amazing friends. Just like last year's party, I was one of the last people to hit the hay. I hadn't been drinking strong liquor for hours, so my buzz was naturally wearing off as my body was "digesting" the alcohol in my blood. My dear boyfriend, on the other hand, was still quite shitfaced. I had been at that stage earlier on, but he was still there, and being the very rational being that he his, he of course decided that the last 100ml of Jack D shouldn't go to waste, so he chugged it down. Yuk.

That decision turned out to be baaaaaaad.. It was around 7AM in the morning, and he was barely laying down before he decided that he needed to go occupy the downstairs bathroom. He told me to go sleep again, so I did (loving girlfriend right here.. ) ;-) He slept a bit in the bathroom, puked a bit and went back to sleep. When the house was woken up to get breakfast, he managed to climb up the stairs and forced a glass of juice down. That came up later.

I couldn't help but both feel like it was a lot of his own fault, asI had tried to stop him from chugging the Jack, without him listening - but I also felt a bit bad for him, as he is my dear boyfriend and I hate generally hate seeing people I care for being sick, hurting ect. I cared for him the best I could, and made sure he drank a bit of water from time to time, so he had something to puke up. 

A lot of the guests who had stayed the night at the house had left, so we were only 5-7 people to clean the entire house. That is (sadly) something we are used to, and we always have a good time anyway. The "5-7 people" is because a friend of the host joined us, the cleaning team, during the afternoon, and one of the boys tend to sleep forever, so he only got up for the last hour or something. While the rest of us was cleaning I checked up on my boyfriend, gave him water, and acted all Florence Nightingale in between cleaning up here and there.

As the afternoon progressed and the house was getting prettier, I intended to honour and agreement I made with one of the boys the previous night - to go get junkfood from McD. I went with my friend who I made the agreement with, we took orders from the others and went off. We returned with the food, and was almost greeted as heroes. While we had been gone my dear boyfriend had been sick again, the poor thing. I sat with him in the bathroom as he was sick, and after about half an hour he had had a nice long break, so I was going to take him home. 

I got the poor thing home, drove home myself, showered, ate dinner and went to bed. My new year's eve wasn't filled with drama, accidents or other not-so-good things like what happened a bit of last year, so for me it was an amazing night. 

I hope all of you had an amazing time celebrating the new year - and thanks for sticking with me, and my horribly long, and rare posts on this blog of mine! Thank you, and happy new year!!