#303: tumblr question time waisting

Hey guys and gals!

It is past 8pm, and as far as writing on my huge paper, my day has. It been productive at all.. My almost one year old niece stayed here from yesterday till about 1pm because my brother and his girlfriend went to an event with the company my brother works for. I really don't mind her being her, I love my niece more than anything, she is my princess - but the timing just really, really sucked.. I had hoped to get a lot done today - and that just wasn't possible. Anyway - since it is getting too late to do anything productive, I thought I might as well just use some time to get something "done" on here :-)

I went on tumblr, as I often do, and found some "Christmas holiday questions" and thought I might as well answer them, as I have nothing more productive to spend my time on. So here we go, questions - whether you like it or not! ;-)

Gingerbread: Do you like tea?
Mostly, yeah. I prefer strong tasting tea, cause even though it is boiled water and herbs - I do prefer to taste the herbs, not the water.. Please.

Tinsel: What perfume/cologne do you wear?

Eh, damn.. Right now I thing I'm wearing Miss Dior or something.. It's a fresh, summery, flowery something. It's nice!

Holly: Who was the last person you sent a letter to?

Uhhh.. I think it was to my aunt, thought it was a postcard. Since my grandmother started using e-mail, I don't really have many opportunities to write letters.

North Pole: What in your life are you most grateful for?

How forgiving my parents and friends can be of me and my weird persona. I know I sometimes bitch a lot about my parents, but they are also amazing at times. There was a time when I wasn't feeling very good, and I made some bad decesions (this sounds like I did meth or something.. I didn't, it was not at all that bad), and even though my parents were mad at me for a while, and made me feel shit - they really helped me through it, and helped me move on from my "dark times". So yeah - I'm grateful for those old crows <3

Christmas Carole: Would you change your name if you could?

When I was younger I thought I really thought I looked way more like an Emilia than a Kristine - but it sort of went away over the years. I sometimes get really annoyed that a lot of people can figure out what I'm called, since there's Kathrine, Kathrina, Christina Kristin, Kristie, Kirstin - and so on! That sometimes makes me wish I had a "simpler" name. A girl in an Irish Starbucks called my Justine,  it sounds good and I could see myself as a Justine - but I'm actually quite happy with my name. It's special, but not too special. So, no.

Santa: What's your favorite month?

May would be an obvious choice, since it's my birthday month - but I think I'm going to go with July. It's the holiday, but most people have returned from their holidays, so I have my friends around, to waste time with my favorite people.

Noell: At a movie theature, which armrest is yours?

I'm actually really good at keeping my arms to myself, but if I'm going to use it, I think it's the left one.

Eggnog: What was the name of your first stuffed animal?

Sadly I'm not sure how the spell it, I'll have to look it up, but as far as I remember it was a white baby seal called "seal" in the native language of the people of Greenland. Some friends of my parents gave it to me, and I actually still have it. Okay I tried looking it up online (Google translate did not support the language), and it is puisi. Now, get your minds out of the gutters, it is pronounced more like "bui-si".. Or something... My first stuffed animal was called Puisi.

Mrs. Clause: Have you ever been on a boat in the ocean?

Not really.. I have been on ferries in "inland waters", if you'd call it that, but I have actually never been out on the big oceans.

Hot Cocoa: What's your favorite thing about yourself?

It honestly varies a lot; some days it's my eyes, others it's my hair or my lips. I generally like my lips, I don't know why - but I just really like their plumb-ness, or something - I don't really have a good reason. Ah, yes - when my nails are nicely done they are definetly the best thing! 

Reindeer: What is your patronus?

I believe I got tested on Pottermore to have my patronus be a dolphin.. I think. I'm not sure what that says about me.

Yule Log: Least favorite vegetable?

Brussels sprouts.. When boiled I personally think they smell like cheese farts and three week old socks - at best.. My parents are apparently sure they can find a way to cook them that I'll like, but right now I have my doubts.

Stocking: What color are your socks right now?

Multicoloured, actually! They have a black "bagground"  (as in; the toes and under the foot is black, nothin more) and then yellow, royal blue, grey, pink, boudreaux and orange stripes, in that order. They're quite funky.

Elf: If you had unlimited money to one shop, which shop would it be?

An all payed for, furniture includes apartment in the heart of Aarhus. That is way too expensive in "real life".. 

Wreath: Are you allergic to anything?

Actually no, I'm that lucky! I got tested for 10 different kinds of allergies, and the nurse was apparently nervous to cause me any serious damage, so for 4 of the cuts I had to have, she didn't cut deep enough, so she had to do it again. 20 small holes in my arm - getting tested for allergies is sooo fun.

Cookies: Top three favorite bands?

Oh, no.. Ehm, I'm really not good with actually "scoring" bands or singers, so it's not really in a particular order..

Queen

Fall Out Boy

One Direction

Toys: Do you want children?

I'm pretty sure I do. In the future, like in about 10 years or something? I want to have a "functioning" life and be able to care for myself (and the man I will have the baby with), before I set a child into this world. I think getting a child you now you won't be able to care for, in one way or another, can be brutal - I've seen it personally and it's really not pretty.. If you're wondering - I'm pro-choice.

Sleigh Bells: Can you whistle?

Yes and no. As far as I know, it has a double mening. I can whistle melodies and songs, but I can't make those highpitch whistle sounds - you know the ones you see the boys do in movies? I think you know what I mean.

Snowman: Do you like accents?

Depends on the accent. But generally, yeah! 

This took a ridiculesly long time to type out on my cellphone - but it got me spending time, which was my goal.. 'Till next time!

#302: The next two weeks

Hello!

This will be the shortest post on this blog (I believe, I'm not going to go through all of my posts to find the shortest one), and it is just a little disclaimer, because the next few weeks I am going to be inactive on this blog. Normally when I don't write on the blog for weeks, I do check up on it and try to write something (but fail to do so), but I'm not going to in the next two weeks.

Reason: I have a big assignment (it's called SRP in my language, but it's not really translatable) for school - 15 to 20 pages of scientific studies and analysis. Yeah.. It is due on the 19th of December, so I better get going. I might be uploading pictures in my "breaks", but just to justify my absence on the blog for this time - I am not going to be posting big text posts before I am done with my assignment.

Peace out, for now guys - AND GOOD LUCK TO MY FELLOW STUDENTS STU(DYING) FOR MIDTERMS! YOU CAN DO IT!!

#301: Formal

Hello once again!

Last Friday, the 14th of November, my school held the annual formal for the 3rd year students. Of course the 2nd and 1st years are there as well, but they just don't really do a lot. The 3rd years are the one getting "celebrated" despite the fact that we have a little more than 6 months left of this school. For some reason the formal is in the fall in stead of the spring, which would totally make more sense(!!), but it's tradition - and it will probably just stay that way. I'm a bit unsure what to call it, there's prom, ball, formal - and surely a lot of other names - but I'm going with formal because it's mostly long dressed, and we learn a certain dance we have to dance, called les lanciers. There's five rounds, and the first round goes something like this:

The version we do at my school isn't totally identical, but it's quite close to what's on the video. I believe the dance will give you a clue as to why I'm calling it "formal" and not a dance, prom or a ball. The most of the years the formal has been held at my school, there has been taken pictures of the classes in their formal wear. Of course it's just a picture, but for a lot of people it's quite a big deal - because it's formal, you're all dressed up, the girls have had their hair done - and it's just a rare opportunity to get a beautiful picture of the entire class, all dressed up.

All formal

As far as I believe, this is the first year there has been a professional photographer out on the school to take the pictures of the classes. The other years it has just been one of the teachers from the school who lined the students up, and took a few pictures with poor lighting, and the students had approximately 0,2 seconds to pose, focus, smile and look at the camera before the photo was taken. This year it was a professional photographer with these huge flashes, a nice attitude and he took a bunch of pictures, and choose the best. I'm quite happy about the pictures. Now, I'm saying pictures, as in plural, and that is because we also took at "silly picture". Prepare, it is gold.

TADAA

We went from a nice, formal pose to complete silly chaos in about 3 seconds, and it felt hilarious! I think I was trying to do a Will Smith - "I made this/Look at this!" pose, and I think it went okay. There is a lot of lifting, grabbing and weird poses and faces, and I think you can really tell that we're having fun. Of course some people are just kind of standing there, but that's how it will always be ;-). The boys in my class are mental, I love those idiots. Oh, and if you don't know who I am - I'm the blonde out to the far right in the red dress.

I loved that evening, and I feel like wearing my beautiful dress all the time! As you might see on the picture I wasn't wearing the biggest of heels, as my boyfriend is "only" 8-10 centimetres taller than me, and I didn't want to be taller than him - luckily I found a cute pair of silver sandals to wear. Despite the heels, the dance went amazing! I didn't trip or fall of stumble - we remembered everything, and we were smiling and we were just fantastic! My dancing partner and boyfriend is the silly manboy 4th from the right in the row of boys.

The pictures were up yesterday, so I figured I would post them here, and just give you all a little update. Tonight I'm going to see a basketball game in the EuroChallenge leauge, with my boyfriend and his father. It's my boyfriends birthday tomorrow, and the dude is going to be 19! I know I usually say I feel old, but at least I'm not as old as that old wreck ;-) The bell is about to ring, to call off the school day, so I'll wrap it up!

See ya - and thanks for reading!

#300: Glasses and London

Hello one again!

It's been quite a while, I am aware of that. It is sort of silly how I can get writer's block just because of a blogpost, but apparently I can - woobdidoo! I just opened my blog, and I haven't posted since the start of September, and before that it was 14th of August.. Well, poop. I remember when I felt like I could post fourteen thousand things a day, but I felt like I would be posting too much, and well, now I'm shit at posting regularly. I do, somehow, still get views, and not just on the "chainletters" post, but on other posts as well - which is something I don't really understand.

Since September a lot of things have happened. I've gotten glasses, which is one thing! The glasses I have are reading glasses, but I'll be wearing them "permanently, because the "top" of the glasses are only +0.25, which is almost nothing. I got tested to 0.25 in the top and +1.0 on reading distance. The dictionary tells me that it's called "crossfade" and we should always trust the dictionary. My glasses are crossfading, so I can use them on class, for when the teacher writes on the blackboard or the smart-board but also look down and read.

I honestly thought that crossfading glasses would fuck with me and my sight, but it works really well. It has really been a relief to get glasses, I had almost forgotten how it felt to read and have relaxed eyes. It sounds weird, but people with reading glasses will know what I'm talking about! I looked at a few pairs, but ultimately ended up choosing the ones I saw first, and I'm starting to see a pattern here, it also happened with my formal dress (more about that later). Of course it was the most expensive pair of the three, but as my father said: when it's glasses you're going to use for years, it better be glasses you like to wear, or else you're not going to wear them at all.

This is a still from a video, it was the first thing on my phone.

In my fall break I went to London with my boyfriend - LONDON BABY! I've been to London once before, but the circumstances were quite different. First time I went, I went with my parents, two of their friends and two of their three children. Doest that make sense? Okay.. My parents + me. Married couple friends + two "children". The "children" were about two and four years older than me, so we didn't interact much. Anyway, the other family wasn't much of a history-loving family, so we spent most of our time in London visiting attractions and just seeing the city, and we went to see Lion King as a musical. I loved it, but I really wanted to see some of the historical parts of London. 

Another thing was that I was in a wheelchair, because I had some sickness in my foot. Another thing that was special about the trip was that we were staying at a super, over-the-top, extremely and almost way too fancy hotel. It was crazy. We were there celebrating my parents' copper wedding, which is something we celebrate at 12½ years of marriage. We were then staying at this crazy fancy place, with a huge breakfast room, with a chef in each room, ready to cook omelets and all sorts of crazy stuff - and you almost weren't "allowed" to move a finger yourself.

This time around I was there with my boyfriend, and we stayed at his cousins' girlfriend's place. It was extremely cozy, and we went out for drinks, saw a play with one of the girlfriend's friends as the lead role, and I actually got to see some of the historical sites I've been wanting to see. The fact that we stayed in an apartment, and went out to get our food at shops and small pus and so on, made it feel like we were living in London, not just visiting on vacation. I really loved it, and I got to go to Tower, which is something I've been wanting to do for a long time. 

Aren't we just hella cute? I think we are.

I remember the time I was in London with my parents, my mother feared the tube like it was the devil or something. My dear mother found the system hard to navigate through, and left it to my father and I to figure out where we were going. This time Marcel and I had some time on our own, which meant that we were also going to navigate through the tube all by ourselves. It went well, but damn did we get weird look for eating in the subway.. Is that not normal? Anyone from London who could help me here? We lived in Fulham, and the tube ride from there to Tower was 50 minutes.. 50 minutes. My dear lord, that was soo long. 

All in all the trip was amazing. My goal is still to go to the "Warner Bros. Studio Tour London - The Making of Harry Potter", I am a huge Harry Potter fan, and I would love to go there! Marcel has been there before, and I am honestly super jealous.. So next time I go to London, it is a must for me to go there! And I will be going to London again! Marcel-s cousin and his girlfriend said that they would love for us to come back again some time, and we definitely will!

This is it for now, it feels good to finally have written something. Why it always turns into freaking novels, is something I'll have to work on - bye ;-)

#299: 8crap - relatable

I know I haven't blogged in a while.. I'm sorry guys! I just havent really had the time, and I have no idea of what to write :-/

#298: Let's get back to business

Summer vacation is over, and the time to relax is therefore as well. And my neglect of this blog should be changed and it should be done something about.. Which I'll try! I'm honestly totally lost, when it comes to what topics I should write about. I want to write, and I love doing it, but right now I'm just a bit lost.. If there's anyone out there how would like to suggest a theme, a topic or something like that, feel free to do so in the comments! :-)

I've started my last year in the gymnasium, which means that at this time next year, I'll be all done with school.. For now. I have no idea if I want to start at university, or what I want to study, and when or where to do it. Basically I'm a bit lost - but when it comes to uni, I've been lost for a couple of years, so I've gotten used to it by now.

I am trying to sort things out, so that I can go to Australia for some time after I'm done in school - it's something I really want to do afterwards, because I want a break after having studied for 13 years of my then 19 years of life. - And because I've always dreamt of going to Australia and experience all of the lovely country (even though 90% of the animals are indirectly trying to kill you..).

Last year in school went horrible when it comes to grades.. Of course I had some subjects I did very well in, but overall I dropped at least one grade - which sucked camel balls. Obviously this didn't just happen out of nowhere, it happened because I was 1) lacking overview and surplus to handle things 2) feeling like I wasn't good enough for school and my class 3) fighting myself and ended up convincing myself that I might as well just give up. I ended up pulling myself a bit together and saving a few of my grades in the last two months, so I didn't fall completely through - and in the one exam I went to last year (oral German), I got what's equivalent to an A+, so I didn't fall completely on my ass.

So during the summer holiday I have had some conversations with my parents and myself about what to do this year, to better myself and to help me gain some of the surplus I've felt I've lost during the last year. Time schedules dividing the time I have between school, boyfriend, friends, scouting and spare time in general, should help me gain overview over my life and give me more energy. 

My parents' reactions have varied a lot - starting the summer vacation they were very upset with me and my grades, and were telling me how I should have done much better in school, how I wasn't living up to my potential and tried forcing me to get a tutor for some of the subjects where I didn't understand my teachers. Even though I now believe that their disappointment and anger was a reaction of being hurt on behalf of my future - their statements hurt me very much at the time, and I do still feel hurt from time to time, having a hard time believing that my own parents could say things like that to me - feeling they called me stupid and not good enough. That wasn't what they meant, but words are perceived differently when you are in a different mind-state.

After some conversations and long discussions during the summer,  I was dreading the "family meeting" my mother had announced we were going to have, a few days before I should start school. I was really scared that it would be sort of a "slaughter" of me and just mocking and grinding me down to nothing. Despite my fears, the "meeting" actually went okay. My parents seemed much more supportive, and it actually seemed like they had "forgot the past" (as I had begged them to do in tears a couple of times during the fights we had had in the summer) and they were finally ready to move on, and look forward and try to see what could be done to help me back up on my feet.

After that meeting I feel like my parents are actually with me and not against me, which is really something I need to get through this year, and not die, or go down with stress in the process. I feel supported now, and I feel much more ready to take on this year, and come out as a victor! 

I hope you guys haven't died reading this, apparently I felt like it was a good thing to get off my chest, and also to start off with.

(Did you notice the number #298 in the title? That's a new thing I'm trying to do, just for fun - and then we'll see how I like it)

Cheers!

Just a little something important!

Corgi obsession

Sooo, lately I have become quite obsessed with corgis. You know, the dog breed with the giant ears and the teeny tiny legs? Yeah, I love those! I have no idea why, because usually small dog annoy me a bit, they always seem so aggressive, but this one is just.. Too damn fucking cute! Of course I had to go to google pictures of corgis, and then I got the splendid idea that corgi puppies would be even better.. I was not disappointed..

THIS IS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! I KNOW I'M BEING EXTREMELY SAPPY ABOUT THIS BUT HOLY CRAP WOULD YOU FUCKING LOOK AT THAT CUTE LITTLE THING!?!?!

Calming down, but seriously.. This is too much for me to handle. My boyfriend and I talked about getting a dog, when we get to that point - which we're planning to do - and that that dog should totally be a corgi! We also talked about getting a pug, because those are also pretty damn fucking cute. 

Back into that world of corgi puppies, I also found a picture of a laying puppy, something that is really hard to resist.. So here you go!

Now, look at that and tell me that that isn't one of the fucking cutest things on this planet? It is. 

I am very well aware of the fact that this hasn't been the most informative post ever, and that I have basically only expressed a bit about my newly found love for corgis.. But that was all I wanted with this post, so it's okay.

As for "real" blog posts, I have hit a "dry spell", so to say - as I haven't gotten anything very important or interesting to talk about, and I have some finals coming up, so I don't feel like I have the brain capacity to make think of something important I want to talk about, or discuss. I think some of you might think it's annoying that I don't post relevant and interesting stuff, but sometimes I just feel like posting stuff, and then I'm sorry if you guys don't like it ;-)

Adulthood

Soeh.. I'm now a legal adult. Don't really know how I'm feeling about that, though. As I expected, I'm not feeling much of a difference, though I do from time to time get a weird feeling when I sort of "realise" that I am, ideed, 18 years old, yeah. So now that means that I am allowed to do all the "grown-up stuff", right? Right?

 

 Fuck yes, turn that shit up - I'm an adult now, so I can do whatever I want, haha!

Joking aside, I really don't feel any different. The only new things I am allowed to do is what the law says, my parents are still keeping me on an unreasonable short leash, a thing I think they'll keep doing 'till I move out or something - which isn't going to happen the next few years, that would just be plain stupid with the plans I have.
Which then means that I can go to a bar (if it isn't one of the 21 restricted ones), I can buy hard liquor, I can vote, I can acquire a driver's license and I have to pay taxes.. So that's nice. As mentioned a thousand times by now, I don't feel any differences, but according to my friends the feeling will sort of kick in when you get your driver's license delivered, as sort of a proof that you are actually an adult.

I had a party on my birthday, that went very well! There was a lot of (loud) music playing, lights and everything! People seemed to have a great time, and I got a shitload of presents, mostly liquor, and I luckily dodged to dildo's and other weird sexual gear, that some people like to give as presents.. I have lovely friends! Well,, with everything said and done, I am actually quite happy that I don't feel so adult-y, since I love mentally being a kid, and playing around - so I really don't know if I'm up for the task of being a 100% adult yet. I know that I won't be so for some years, but it's just hard to explain. Maybe I'll try to in another post or in a video, if I'll ever actually make one, we'll see..

Music; Phantom Planet - California

I am listening to this as I am writing my next post, hopefully I'll get it posted today! Trying to finish up a school project, but there's not really anything I can do anymore, so I'm just trying to relax myself a little with some music and some writing - and then I'll hopefully not die of nerves and stress.. Heh. Short as fuck.. You'll manage ;)

Birthday

Hello once again!

My birthday is coming up, I am actually turning 18 tomorrow! Age is just a number, to some extinct, but it's still suppose to be a big deal to turn 18, which is the legal age where I live. As an eighteen-year-old, you're supposed to be an adult, but I honestly don't feel like one. Of course it isn't expected of you to just "grow up" from day to day, but most teens get new or other privileges than they used to. I have, myself slowly gotten more privileges over the last few years, so it isn't going to be a waterfall of new things I am allowed to do.

I am not exactly the youngest in my class, but a lot of people already have their drivers licence, which is also a thing that comes along with turning 18, you are allowed to take "classes" to acquire a drivers licence, and I am working on it myself. I am really looking forward to being allowed to drive a car, and learning how to drive well, along with the fact that then I might be able switch it up a bit from the scooter, which goes tops 30km/h.. So I am certainly looking forward to that aspect of the entire "growing up" thing. 

One of my dear brothers really is a man-child, in the best way possible. He is 15 years older than me, which will be 32, and then 33 in December. Him and I like to do things together, like go to the cinema and see that new action movie, or go drive crossers and stuff like that. I hope to be an adult like that, being able to disconnect once in a while and go child-out, also because I think I'll need that in my adult life, since I'm not really the most mature being on this planet.

I do for some reason have a bit of a hard time picturing myself as someone who makes important decisions, and do adult stuff - I just don't think that my brain has adjusted to the idea of being an adult, which I legally am in about 15 hours.. Yikes.. My dear mother says that I'll adjust to it, and that she has faith in me, so that's what I am clinging onto right now, and hoping that she's right!

I am going to celebrate my birthday with a party tomorrow, and I am looking forward to seeing a lot of people, have fun, dance and yes - drink with them. The strange thing about this, is that I haven't really been very excited about turning 18, or the party before today. Right now I am totally ecstatic about the party, and having fun with my friends, the "turning 18" part still isn't really facing me, don't really know if it is a good, bad or neutral thing.. Guess I'll take it as it comes.

For now I'll go to where the party is being held and make ready with some tables and chairs, and then I'll have to see when I can pull my ass together to get a new blog post written, bye for now :)

Acquiring a boyfriend

Hi there.. strangers

I apparently died and went to Mallorca, came back, guilt-tripped about my blog, ignored the feeling and forgot about it, started school after a weeks vacation, and here I am again, then - trying to write stuff. It really mostly is stuff - I don't really do a lot of productive things these days, I just pay attention to my basic needs, play Sims3 and spend time off with my boyfriend. Which is what I am going to write about this time, since I feel like explaining myself. This will hopefully not be too sappy, since that will make people (including me) puke.

Okay, so - I acquired myself a boyfriend, he's name is Marcel. It's a French name, but there is not a single drop of French blood in his family, it's a bit funny. By yesterday, I have been together with him for 2 months, with means that 24th of February was the day we got our asses of the couch, and actually, officially became a couple by title. The thing is, we had been "together" for some weeks, where we were acting like a couple, when we were alone, but what we had wasn't categorized in any way - we were just enjoying each other's company (among other things *wink wink*).

Our first kiss was at a party at our high school. We were drunk, the music was playing, I wanted to dance, and Marcel was the only one who wanted to go with me, all the others had just started a drink, or were "too tired". So on the dance floor we went, and as we started dancing, we moved closer together and eventually kissed. Cliché as fuck, I know. Marcel and I had ahead of that arranged that I would crash at his place after the party, so afterwards we just went home to his place, and crashed in his bed.

Not much happened after that, a few weeks went by with just a few pecks and kisses in the hidden, when we had our "homework dates". We kept whatever little thing we had, hidden - I think it was mostly the fact that we didn't want any drama in our class, since we go to the same class, and that we liked to just be the two of us. A part of "coming out" as a couple in our class would mean that we had to deal with Marcel's ex-girlfriend. When Marcel and I started whatever it was we had, him and Kamilla, which is what she's called, had been broken up (can you say that? I don't know, but now I'll just use it.) for about 9 months. I didn't know how she would take it all, so that was what I was a bit nervous about, and then I just didn't feel like having to deal with the attention from some of the people in our class.

We had needed to tell two or three of our friends that Marcel and I were messing around, because they spotted a hickey I made on Marcel.. Ooops.. Aside from them (and my best friend), Kamilla was the first person we told. Well, I took her aside, and sat down with her and told her what was up. She seemed okay with it at the time, which chilled me quite a lot. Luckily, when we made our relationship "facebook official" (ew, sounds so tacky... haha, love it), there wasn't the big fuss about it, people congratulated us asked a few questions, and that was really it. 

Since then we have been the class' couple, and in the start there was a bit of focus on us, and some stared when we kissed during recess, or hugged and couply stuff like that, but it's not that bad by now, and to be honest we don't really care. There has been a few deathstares and mean looks from.. certain.. people, and it has bothered me a bit, but I am getting better at just ignoring it! 

In the start I was very worried that I would be seen as a "thief", as in stealing Marcel from Kamilla - but it was actually a friend of mine's mother who told me to pull myself together, and that when they broke up so long time ago so "(girl) she could've been both pregnant and have given birth in the time she wasn't with him", so I have stopped caring about it all together.

Things are basically going great, and we have quite some stuff planned, concerts, weekends, a festival, a trip to London.. It is great! I know some of the things are way ahead, but I am planning on stating with this guys for as long as ever possible. I know I'm only 17, but I believe in this, and it almost scares me that I can actually see myself getting married and living with him. It's weird, but it feels like a good weird, so I am just extremely excited to see whatever comes next, because I love this guys with all my heart and soul, and it's just.. lovely!

Cheers

 

Secrets

One of the hardest things ever, for some poeple; keeping secrets.

I have always been sort of a "safe" when it comes to secrets,  I have been a shoulder to try on, to rely on and someone people can confess to,  I have basically been keeping other people's secrets for years. Of course it has been hard from time to time, but  I have never let out a secret, never told on anyone or judged someone for their secret. It sounds quite sacred, and I feel like I am just being an angel, but it is just important for me, because I feel like everybody should have a friend to trust in like that, knowing that whatever they tell them, it won't be told to anyone else, and you won't be judged.

There has been many years where I have had secrets that I have never told anyone. Things that had been so embarrassing or so dark/bad that I didn't feel like I could tell anyone. I have had things that I had a hard time telling my own mother, and I feel like your mother should be the one person in the entire world who you should always be able to talk to, and to confess in. But I just didn't feel like that, and all the things I couldn't tell anyone, I wrote down in diaries and hid away, when I'd gotten the secrets off my chest. I have later burnt some of those, it seems quite dramatic and dramaqueen-ish, I know, but it had just felt like a good way to "cleanse" it out, because the things I held as secrets didn't affect me anymore.

In my opinion, being trusted with a secret is one of the biggest things in a friendship. It shows that someone trusts you, and is willing to put their trust in you. Therefore it is one of the biggest fouls to let out a friend's secret. You let them down in one of the worst way possible, you misuse their trust - and trust is not something easily rebuild.
Trusting someone with a secret of yours can often be hard. Depending on how big the secret is, it can be as much of a relief as a burden, to know that somebody knows your secret too. If your trust has been broken before, sharing a secret can be hell, but if you're carrying around a secret it can still be nice to tell someone, and get it off your chest.

For me, it has been important to have someone to rely on, especially the last half year. I didn't feel well, and I didn't feel like I could tell anyone why, because I felt I would bother them with my blabbering. I didn't get better when I just went around with my secrets myself, but when I found out I could actually tell someone about how I felt, and not bother them - I started getting better by the day. Does that make sense? I don't know, but it does to me, and it was vital for my "healing" process that I had someone I felt I could trust, and tell my secrets.

This post went a little off tracks.. But the reason I started it was actually because I felt like I had a secret I had a hard time keeping, the fact that I have a boyfriend. Tadaaa.. I will tell a bit more of how that came to happen in another post, because it seems like one of those things you just think won't happen... Me. Getting a boyfriend. Yeah.. More about that later - I think :)

Picture: Austria

Hi guys!

I haven't died, I went to Austria for a week, where I didn't have wifi, and therefore couldn't blog anything, I'm all fine, I didn't manage to break anything. I took a selfie on top of one of the mountains, and it turned out pretty good, despite the fact that I couldn't see a bloody think because the sun was shining, on a rare occasion. I will make a post telling a bit more about my holiday, if you like it or not, but for now; here's the picture I took:

Anniversary - sort of

Hi there!

Soooo.. I just realised that I have had this blog for over a year. I have blabbering about my everyday life, how I felt about it, and even stuff with no relevance for anything - for over a year. I can't really claim that it has been a regular thing, sometimes I've posted stuff as if my life depended on it, and at other times it has been one post every two or three weeks, just because I didn't feel like writing anything, or if I have felt like I didn't have anything constructive to write about.

I can honestly say that the weirdest part of having this blog, has been the fact that some of my friends are reading along. I have shared the link to the blog with a few people, myself, and sometimes I have been wondering if it was even a very good idea, but I haven't regretted it. There was a time where I felt awful but honestly didn't know if I wanted to tell, but from the small "hints", so to say, I kind of gave away in some of my posts, my friends picked up on it, and helped me to kick my ass into action to get better - which I did.

This has been my own little place where I could say whatever I felt like. I could tell the world how fed up I am with something, and no one could dictate what I was going to say or how. It is really underrated to have a place where you can just blast out what is in your mind, even if you just want to make a post about nothing but how weird you think doves are, or this party you went to, this cock-face from work or school - or if you feel like writing about something that has held you down.

And for me, the best part of that is; it doesn't matter if people think it's bad, it is exactly what you want to post on your own god damn blog!

I know I wrote before that the weirdest thing was having my friends reading everything I write.. But thinking more about it, the craziest part of all of this is you guys.. I do apparently have readers from all over the freaking world!! All from the US, Peru, Chile, Greece, Estonia, Russia, Saudi Arabia, China, New Zealand, The Fillipines, Hawaii - it's crazy man!! 

I did never ever expect my blog to be this worldwide.. Sure, I write in English, but I didn't even dare to dream that so many different people would see my blog. It baffles me every time. And what is my biggest question is; how the hell did you guys find me?! I really want to know, but my question remains unanswered.

Now, a thing that I want to make a small comment on; the whole "Jenny chainletter" thing. When you search for the key words you are "told" to searh, in the stupid "letter", my blog with the post I made about it, comes up in the first page in google, and I have no idea how that happened.. How it actually got to the first page is a mystery to me, but I have apparently helped out some people with the "slaughter" of the chainletter, which makes me happy, so all is good!

I felt like I should've done something very special to celebrate the fact that I've had this blog for over a year now.. But I don't know what I should do? Something crazy? Should I bake a cake? I have no idea, but I feel like celebrating! 

For now I will just go to bed though.. It is late, and I need to get up in the early morning, but I just felt like I had to write something, since it's both a long time since last, and that I feel a bit ashamed that I hadn't noticed the "milestone" before now.. But I am off to bed, and I might come up with some idea as to how I should celebrate this?

Goodnight all y'all (couldn't help it..heh)!

Cliffs of Moher

This is a picture I just found on my computer, from the Ireland trip, where we one of the days took a trip to the Cliffs of Moher, and it was an amazing place - I am so glad we went there! The nature was amazing, and even though I went around with a more of less constant fear of falling down directly to my death, it was one of the most beautiful places I've seen! And when the sun came out a little after, it all just added to the beauty, and there was even a rainbow out over the water.

We were standing at the cliffs, and therefor at a point where the next land you'd meet, going further West, would be the US. Of course there's the Aran Islands, but the point were at, the US would be the next land. I have always thought that is is an amazing feeling to look out at the ocean, and just see nothing but water, as long as the eye can see. I'd love to go there again sometime.

Socializing and alcohol

Hi guys!

I'm honestly unsure of what this post is 100% going to be about, and what the title is going to be, but I'll figure out along the way as I get into the writing. I have different suggestions for the title, but I don't really know what will be fitting yet.. I'll get to the writing, and then we'll see what fits.

There is a tendency among some teenagers, that the only way of being socially together in larger groups, are at parties or other occasions where you get drunk. Being drunk is a apparently a condition for meeting new people and bond with ones you don't really know already. I have been told by a guy who holds this opinion; "it is just easier to get to know people when your guards are down, and you are open to new people, experiences and ideas".

I get why some people feel like they need alcohol to be able to open up to new people (I'll come back to that later), but you can call me old-fashioned - I don't understand why you would think that you can't socialize without alcohol in your system. Yes, alcohol can make you relax a bit, and help you break down some of your own walls, but you should really be able to do this completely sober as well.

In the weekend my class had planned a delayed "Christmas dinner-party-thing", and the school had held a party the day before, so everyone was quite smashed. A few of us turned up earlier than the rest to cook, and the mood was quite cozy, all we were drinking was sodas. At the "dinner" (sounds to fancy for what it really was, it was just tacos), a few people drank a beer or two, but most, again, drank soda or water. The night slightly evolved into a game night (as in board games, listening to music and eating crisps and candy), instead of a party - and I honestly think that it was one of the nicest times I've ever had with my class.

I think that a lot of young people today start partying way too early - which might be a topic all to itself - and they then "grow up" with the norm that you have to get drunk to have fun, or to meet new people. Of course this doesn't apply to all teenagers, and I might step over some toes here, but this is my opinion! You can easily have fun without alcohol, and I was so pleasantly surprised that our class was able to "function" with each other at an arrangement where you went willingly, and everybody was included.

Is this posts messed up yet, because it is already kind of messed up in my head. My point with this post is that I think the the young teenagers should learn that fun doesn't always involve alcohol, and that alcohol most certainly doesn't always include fun. The fact that some people believe that socialization can only really happen at an intoxicated state, is damaging for some people's ability to evolve the ability to socialize, later in life, which honestly is just sad.

 I really don't think that you should base your friendships solely on how people have acted drunk, cause you might think that you see "the true nature of someone" when you meet them drunk - but the majority of people change, if only a little, when they get drunk. Some people get aggressive, some get very emotional and others (the more pleasant company, according to my opinion) just get very happy and joyful to be around.

Again, I think this post has gotten very weird, but just hold on a bit longer, if you mind.
I see the point that if you feel socially awkward and shy, alcohol might help you meeting new people because you'll feel less shy and awkward around these guys and gals. For some people it might seem like the only option, to get a little tipsy - but you might change, and even the slightest change can be too strange for some people, maybe for some of the guys and girls you've befriended. All according to how much you drink, and how you might change - some people might no recognize the sober you, and might not want to be friends with the person you really are.

You can easily have fun without involving alcohol, but if you really don't think otherwise, just be flippin' careful, okay? Thanks. Cheers (so to say..)

Picture from Ireland

Helene took this picture right after we landed in Ireland, and were heading to get our luggage. Everything written down was in Gaelic as the first language, and then "translated" into "normal" English underneath. It was quite confusing in the start, and we had NO idea how to pronounce any of the things, it was really strange. We eventually figured out a few words, and what they meant - but the Gaelic language just sounds so complex and hard to learn - but that is probably the way everyone thinks about a new language.

We learned from some of the people we met, that the Gaelic language is getting more and more popular in Ireland, that the children in school now have it as a subject, and that the young adults are more and more interested in learning the language. I would love to have two national languages, but if you've ever heard Gaelic.. I hope that isn't the only language they are going to speak (of course not, but imagine..)

Just found the picture, and thought I'd add a little text, even though the trip to Ireland was quite some time ago.. :-)

New Year's

DISCLAIMER

There is clear mentioning of alcohol in this post, and before you guys might flip your shit, I would like to state that the legal drinking age in my country is 16, and I am 17, so I am legal! Do not be alarmed, I am both legally, and by my parents, allowed to drink!

I do not condone minors drinking, you can easily have fun without alcohol - do not be dumb and drink if you're not legal! 

Thanks!

'Ello once again!

[Before you start reading, be warned, this is probably one of the longest thing I've ever written] 

I have now more or less recovered from my New Year's Eve - it is second day in school for me, yeah I started school the 2nd of January, there is no mercy in this school. I started out having an English mid-term test, which itself isn't really hard, what made it close to insufferable was the fact that I was so, so, so, so, sooooo tired!
The test started around 9AM, and at some point I just looked up at the clock and went: "I still hadn't gone to bed 24 hours ago.." that might seem crazy to some of you guys, but wasn't a party that went crazy as much as we just had too good of a time to go to bed - and we sort of went into the mode where you're just overly tired, and then your body just releases the last amount of energy, so you just end up going in over-drive... And we just kept saying "3 MORE HOURS, GUYS! WE CAN DO THIS!!"... Which ultimately lead to my falling asleep around 9.30AM.. Sigh..

I started out at "ma guurl" Sofie's house, she had to work from 3PM to 6PM, so I just waited at her house, went grocery shopping with Lis, Sofie's mother, showered and go ready - Sof came rushing home, had a quick shower and then we headed to some of their friends' house where we ate - and I learned that Tequila-shots are sooo much flipping better with oranges instead of lemons.. I know some people thinks that the sour taste is a part of it, but the oranges are just so much better when you're not that fond of that nasty tequila taste! 

After dinner, and the shots, we got a ride to where we were to pick up Julie, and girl also going to the party, and then the lovely lad who had given us a ride (who had not been drinking, do not drink and drive!!!!), also took us to the New Year's Eve part as well. We were blasting quite loud rock on the way there, and we were generally having a laugh, and I was in the best mood when we arrived! I wasn't really that drunk at that point, all I had gotten was a little bit of wine, and then a few shots, none of it had really kicked in yet - so except for the lack of buzz in me, I was in the greatest party mood!

Not so long I introduced my friends to one of my really good friends to my other friends, and apparently they loved him - which I am very glad that they do. He knew a few of the people beforehand, but at a party with 25 people he was introduced to a lot of new faces, and I think he did pretty well. Anyway, he was there when we arrived - and I was really glad to see him mingling and having fun, it made me more able to just run around and have fun, when I knew that he was having fun on his own; so I went along and partied on!

After I had greeted everyone, it was time to get shitfaced! Some of you guys might think that it is completely dumb that we party more or less just to get drunk, but that is just the way we do it here - it helps us loosen up, have a laugh, just cutting loose (I know I already said that) and forgetting how fucking stressful our everyday lives are. This sounds really deep and philosophic - but it's really not meant to be.. ;-)
Back on track, I poured some shots down to get myself buzzing, and I went around the house to check up on things. At Mark's house (where we were, duh) there's a pool table, which was frequently used, and it is actually quite fun to watch drunk people play pool, some get worse but some people actually get a lot better! In that room was also a couch, which was occupied most of the time, often by far too many people! 

The night went on and as we got more drunk, the music became higher; and I danced around with my friends, we did tequila body-shots (with orange!), went outside and a bit away from the house to shoot some firework (we weren't allowed to do it at the house, the neighbour-house has a roof of straw, which would catch fire a bit too easy!), and as 12:00 got closer we gathered in the basement, where we had an uplink to a countdown. As it hit 12:00PM/AM, we jumped from chairs, tables - and Marcel was even thrown into the new year! Of course it didn't go that well, but hat was mostly because one of the two guys throwing him chickened out and didn't really throw him - so he was thrown weird and landed more or less on a newly healed wound on his shin, which of course stated piss bleeding again.. But due to the alcohol I don't think he felt as much pain as he would've otherwise.

Oh yeah - and I got a New Year's kiss... Nothing major, but is was nice ;-)

I am actually quite impressed that I stayed up that long, I was up 'till about 10AM in the morning.. Which resulted in me being so tired the day after, that I could barely stay awake for breakfast - but when we had to clean the place up afterwards, I was just so tired that my body kicked in with the last amount of energy that is released when you go into overdrive - so I was switching between being so tired I could barely move around, and being a hyperactive jet rocket running around not really doing anything productive, but running around.

I think one of the major reasons that we stayed up so late was the dear Linus - he kept us up and active and ran around and kept saying "JUST THREE MORE HOURS GUYS, WE CAN DO THIS!" - and for some reason some of us actually didn't go to bed, we just stayed up with Linus - that crazy kid.. He made quite good friends with some of the guys there, and they made up these weird plans.. I have honestly no idea if they even remember making these plans?

At some point during the night/morning, Linus and one of the guys from my class, Alexander decided that they wanted to go for a walk in the little town the party was held in.. Seem logical to want to go out in the night when it's about 5 degrees outside.. Yeah. Mind you, the winter hasn't really kicked in here yet, so 5 degrees is actually quite warm for a New Year's eve here.. Anyway, I had to go with these two fools, since none of them new how to get back to the house if they suddenly decided to take a weird turn or something so they might end up on a weird field outside of the town or something.. I don't know what could happen to them, so I went with them. I was walking ahead of the boys, and as I turned around to ask them where they wanted to go, I was met by the sight of the two lads without their shirts..

Okaaaaay.. I aske why, and they simply responded that they thought it was too warm to wear a shirt outside.. Lunatics.. Not that I mind, being in the class that I am, and having the friends I have - I am quite used to nudity by now. We went walking, and at some point I felt like running instead - because fuck me and my brain, I was drunk as fuck at that point.. I could feel that I was cold, and I think I remember my teeth clacking, but I didn't really freeze, due to the amount of alcohol.. Yeah, smart decision to go outside when you can't feel how cold it is.. 
But as written, I started running a bit, not too long, the lads could still see me, but as I stopped and just walked I suddenly heard running feet, and as I turned around I suddenly found myself in the middle of a sandwich - the two guys around me, and we were all laughing our asses off! They eventually released me, and we went a bit further. Alexander did, for some reason, get the idea that it was a good time to do push-ups - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD! Linus followed that idea, and me, I just walked further, I wasn't really in a state to deal with that..

We somehow got back, and I honestly have no idea how long time we were outside. I think a couple of hours more went by before we actually got to bed.. Again, I don't know what time it was when we went out - but all I know is that at some point the host and one of his good friends sat in the kitchen and discussed politics. I didn't really bother to put my mind that much into what they were actually discussing, I just sat on the floor with one of my friends, we shared a bag of crisps with dip, and a blanket - it was quite entertaining. 

I will try to end my freaking novel here, we went to bed far too late, and got a few hours of sleep.. The day after, we watched films on the giant couches, and I slept most of the day when I eventually got home. The day after (the 2nd) at my English test I could take a look at the clock and say "24 hours ago, I hadn't even gone to bed yet.. Whyyyyy"

It was a fucking fantastic New Year's Eve!