Working on a comeback

Hi guys!

I haven't been blogging for a while now, I have 8 unfinished and therefor unpublished blog-posts, which I have been writing on, but either lost interest or changed my mind about actually writing and posting them. Most of these posts have been about serious matters (or more like one specific case). I have changed my mind every time, mostly because I started writing and then ended up rambling nonsense - and then I just ditched it because it started flooding my mind with stuff I didn't need at the time.

I feel a lot better now, than I did just two weeks ago. I pulled my ass together and went to talk to the student counselor, who is now helping me to sort of submerge from the big hole I feel like I have sunken down in to lately. I have been walking around with a sort of depressed feeling, a feeling that I haven't known how to handle. I am not depressed, but I feared that I was heading in a wrong direction, so last week I went to my math teacher (because I have been especially mentally absent in this subject) and told him how I felt, and what I thought I was dealing with. I didn't know that that was what I needed, to talk to an adult that would and could actually acknowledge that fact that I wasn't feeling well, even thought I didn't know what to do myself.

From there it has actually only been going forward with my mood and how I am feeling general. As mentioned before I got to talk to the students-counselor and that also felt like a stone had fallen from my chest. I had not talked to my parents about my problems before I talked to the counselor, but he gave me that task to talk to my mother about it - which I did. It was really hard for me to actually put to words how I felt, and to explain everything to her, without sounding like I was blaming her.
We talked it over, and it was a huge relief that my parents now know how I am feeling. I feared that they would reject me if I didn't do good enough in school, and in life generally - but of course they are supportive and ready to help me in whichever case I need them!

So.. I am slowly coming back to my usual and happy self.. I even started singing in the shower again! I know it sounds weird, and you might think it strange for me to share this with you guys, but for me it is a very positive sign that things are heading in the right direction for me. Whenever I feel really happy, I have a tendency to start singing and/or humming, and I have been doing that a lot lately - to a bit annoyance for my classmates though.. ;-)
Work is in progress, and I am trying my best to fight my way back as myself, because being stuck in a hole where you honestly don't know how you are feeling from day to day, and where you feel like you are drowning even though people are trying to pull you out off the water.. Well, it's not bloody lovely! ;-)

Knowing that I have the support from so many fucking lovely people is an amazing feeling, and it just states the fact that I have some of the best people around me! I love you guys, my friends and family, this is a fucking huge thing to go through all of the sudden, and I am extremely grateful for the people who have promised me to be there as my safety-net, should I ever fall back!

As totally off topic as it is, I want to thank you guys for 12000 view, holy shit! It is still weird fr me that people would want to read what ever the fuck I write, but nevertheless I am grateful, and it makes a smile appear. So well, THANK YOU!