Right now I am sitting with some tea, mentally healing myself. I have (again) been fighting with my parents, this time about my math (of which I don't understand crap of) and about choice of study line. Right now I have the line called Math A, Biology B, Civics B, but I would like a line with math on B levels instead, because I feel completely lost in math right now.
It is very hard for me, because my parents are saying that I am not allowed to change my line, and trying to talk to them is like trying to move a mountain all alone. They wont listen to me, and they accuse me of being lazy, close minded, negative and so on, and it hurts, hearing your own parents accusing you of such things. It hurts me, and I want to cry, but I don't, I just take it in, because I know trying to tell them off isn't going to work. It would just make it much worse.
I feel like crap, because I want to talk to them about why I want to change. I want to because I'm scared. I'm scared that I cant follow the others in my class on the A levels, I am afraid of getting stressed, I have some friends who got stress, and it's not pretty. I am genuinely scared of math on A levels, I am afraid that I'm not good enough. That is one of the scariest things I can imagine. Not being good enough.
Bye poodles - I'm scared, safe me, please?
-K
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