I don't really know how or where to start, but this has to be written to give me peace in my confused head, and it might end up as total blabbering which makes no sense what so ever - I hope you can handle that! So let this mini rant thing-ish start!
So. I am aware of the fact that if you stand up for something you can't avoid making yourself a few enemies, of having people dislike you. Since I never say something I won't stand for, and the things I say sometimes offend people, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I know that people judge me, either because of my behavior or because of my looks, and I really couldn't give less of a flying fuck! It can of course annoy me a lot, but I just make it my goal to ignore what people think of me, because I know I act weird.. I know that I might not be wearing what follows the last fashion trends, but I don't feel like changing my life because of what others think of me.
I go to high school, and if you do as well, you know it can be hell. Luckily, I don't feel lie it is, but that I mostly credit myself for. On my school we have these morning assemblies, and I have joined the team who organizes it. Of course I get small jitters, and hope not to fuck up, before I have to go to the stage and say something in front of the entire school, but I am not thinking what they think of my clothes or my behavior, because that's just who i fucking am, and I am not changing just to please others.
Some people have actually told me that I am: quote - "totally embarrassing to be around, ugh, grow up - would you?!" No. I will not grow up, I do not want to grow up! I want to always be able to find this childish side inside of me, I never want to loose it! I really pity the ones without this side in their lives, they really don't know all the fun they are missing out on.
Kids and teenagers today are expected to grow up a bazillion times faster than we should, and I cherish my childish moments like they were the precious thing in my life. I have experienced to almost go down in a pit of despair, and I believe that it was partly because I didn't embrace my natural need to act crazy from time to time. I tried to fit in, and act as people wanted me to, and look where that brought me?
So I will always be exactly who the fuck I am, and who I want to be! And I will not have others tell me who to be, or how I should act to fit in! Please promise me to be the same way? Please promise me to do your best to be who YOU want to be, and NOT who other think you should be!
If you would ever need help, or advice or ANYTHING - you can ask me! If you need any advise I will be more than happy to help - or if you just want to get to know me better? Ask me all you want! In a comment, or at ask.fm. Ask me stuff here
Bye guys! - Be who you are, fuck the others, be yourself!
-K
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